After a long hiatus, I've finally managed to find some time to set aside to once again sit behind my laptop and post an entry.
Over the past few months, I have learnt something valuable that I want to share with you all.
This post may not make sense to anyone but myself, but a personal experience can sometimes lead to lending others the courage and strength they need to stand and fight another day.
Please bear with me. There is a message in this post. A parallel I'm drawing between my experience and a fight many of you fight every single day.
Over Christmas, after many many frequent visits back and forth to my doctor's office, I was finally diagnosed with CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). Apparently my condition lies somewhere between mild to moderate CFS.
This isn't exactly news people like to hear and it has resulted in my life drastically changing and almost instantly, overnight.
This has once again, got me to thinking. And I'd like to share my thoughts with you.
CFS is a relatively unknown illness still. It's only now, slowly gaining recognition due to the many voices who are adding their voices to the crowds and the new discoveries doctors are making about this illness. But there is still a lot that needs to be learnt and a lot that is yet still unknown. There's still a certain amount of ignorance and disregard for this illness. To the point that it seems that only those who suffer, really understand what it is like.
Before I finally got my diagnosis, I spent months being poked by a needle more times than I'd care to remember and I shudder to think how much blood was taken to run tests on.
CFS isn't an illness that holds any physical symptoms. So the diagnosis isn't something that happens overnight. My GP is a wonderful man, who spent tireless hours working with me to try to find the answer to what was wrong with me. Not once did he tell me it was all in my head or roll his eyes at my continued visits. He threw himself into the fight for me, running test after test after test and finally, after having ruled out all the other possible options, there was only one answer left and I finally had my own answer.
It's astonishing how one diagnosis can change a person's life so dramatically. Where once I was a multi tasker, able to juggle my home life and work life with relative ease, I now struggle to manage even the basics and yet, I refuse to lay down and simply give up the fight.
I have been informed it won't be easy. I am aware of my limitations. I am fortunate to have an understanding boss who has helped me manage to find a balance where, on my worse days, I can work from home, taking the time to rest where I need it and on my better days, I can go back out to the office and into the field of my work.
Some days are worse than others, and some days, it's hard to not feel that hope slipping away from you. That hope that one day, things will turn around for the better and things will start to look up again.
Sometimes it seems with each one good day, you inevitably end up with three bad days. It's exhausting and draining and can be very discouraging.
And even during those days, I know I wouldn't have my answer if it wasn't for my doctor's efforts on my behalf. His voice and fight to stand by me and help me find my answers. I wouldn't be able to even manage what I can these days, if it wasn't for my boss' understanding of the illness and the support I gain there.
Which gets me to thinking.
In the war of the sexes, I frequently see men feeling drained and exhausted from the fight. Sometimes they even feel like giving up and bending to what society demands of them because they don't have the energy to fight anymore. They feel it doesn't matter how loud they yell or how hard they fight, it won't make any difference.
All I can do is hope that my experience will give renewed strength and hope that some fights are worth fighting.
With each passing day, more people are learning. More people are adding their own voices to the crowds and though the struggle may seem endless and at times you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, know that there are those who stand beside you and fight for what you fight. Who are willing to stand beside you and listen and hear what you have to say.
I know this might not make any sense, but if there's one thing I've learned over the past few months, when hope seems to be failing you and you feel like no one is listening, or that you're screaming to an empty room, know there's others beside you who haven't given up.
I'll apologise upfront for this non sensical piece. Sometimes, some things just need to be said, even if they make no sense to anyone but yourself.
I want to say one final thing to the men and even women out there that are willing to stand and fight for what's right. Don't give up. It may be frustrating. It may be hard and infuriating. It may make you want to kick and scream, but in the end, even if you lose battle after battle, the war is far from over.
Night all and keep fighting.
Sami
"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~
Monday, 23 January 2012
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Women Take Back Slut
The internet is frequently crawling with information of all kinds on a vast range of different topics. Not only topics, but views and opinions ranging from all ends of the scale.
More recently one topic that has been very active is the topic of slutwalks. Different states and countries have been very active in their protests with women marching through the streets wearing "slut attire" and openly claiming they are "taking back the word slut" because they have "had enough".
This is a topic that strikes a very raw nerve with me. I'd also ask that you please bear with me. There's quite a few points in this post. It will be rather long and hard to follow at times and also rather detailed. I also apologise for the fact that this post is going to be rather emotional and uncomfortable to read.
The reason for the slutwalks is simple. One comment made by a Canadian police officer that women can stay safe by "avoiding dressing like sluts" has sparked a wave of fury among women all across the globe and they have taken to the streets in order to make themselves and their anger known. The views on this topic are very varied, with some outright slamming this police officer and others backing him. Some say he has a point but could have chosen his words better and others will also add their own voices and opinions to the crowd.
The topic is quite simply focusing on rape and sexual assault. Before I get into the various points and different aspects of this topic, I have a story to tell, but before I do, I think it would be important to note that the girl in question is something of a bleeding heart. She cannot see people in pain or angry and not try to help in some way, even if it is simply by adding her own voice to the crowd.
This girl's story really begins when she was 18. As most teenagers are, she was young and rather foolish. A bit of a wild child so to speak. She enjoyed the nightlife and going out clubbing with her friends. I should point out that she didn't sleep around though. She was a party girl, but sleeping around wasn't her thing.
Anyway, her story begins one friday night when she was 18. Dressed in a short skirt that barely covered her tush and a tube top, she met her friends as usual in town ready to hit some bars and nightclubs.
I should point out that over here in the UK, it is legal to drink from the age of 18.
Moving on. She had a pretty normal night by all accounts. She drank, danced, partied and flirted as usual. It was a typical fun night out. It was about 3 in the morning when the group decided to call it a night and go home, all by this point fairly intoxicated by alcohol.
Most of the group took a taxi together leaving two girls alone and no taxi in sight. The two girls briefly debated walking home together but decided against it due to the vast quantities of alcohol that had been consumed. So they waited for the next taxi to show up. When it did they both got in and the taxi took the girls to their first stop. The girl's friend got out, leaving this girl now alone in the taxi. It should also be noted that these rather drunk girls had been openly chatting and flirting with the taxi driver for most of the drive home.
After the girl's friend had left the taxi, the driver invited her to go sit next to him. She did. And continued chatting with him. It wasn't until she realised that the direction they were going wasn't taking her to her home, that she sobered up pretty quickly. She had found herself in a pretty tricky situation that only got trickier when he pulled up in a secluded area and tried to get on top of her.
Glossing over the details of what happened next, this girl's survival instincts kicked in and, putting it bluntly, by kneeing him in the nuts she was able to get away completely unharmed.
By all accounts, regardless of your personal take on things, this girl was extremely fortunate to have escaped unharmed.
Needless to say the whole experience left the girl feeling rather shaken. She didn't know quite what to do with her experience, feeling rather lost and confused. She suffered the standard emotions of asking herself what on earth she had done to deserve this. She didn't feel she could talk to anyone and became a little withdrawn, repeatedly cancelling nights out and refusing to take a taxi, even in broad daylight.
After a while and some research, she finally decided to go to a help group meeting for women who had suffered sexual assault and this would prove to be a turning point in this girl's life. Sitting there and listening to these accounts, the girl found herself feeling odder and odder about the entire situation. When it came to her to share her story, she found she couldn't. She couldn't open her mouth and actually repeat her story. The sheer sympathy from these women was not sitting right with her.
In short, after going to this meeting and listening to these women tell their stories, this young girl left this meeting feeling embarrassed and ashamed. At that specific point though, she wasn't entirely sure why she felt this way. So she did the next logical thing and took to the internet, trying to find more information and others who had been in her situation who could maybe help her with some of the things she was feeling.
She found them, but to her surprise, she found the ones who could shed light on what she was feeling were men, not women. All she heard from women was the same thing over and over, there is no excuse, no woman deserves this, men are evil, etc etc etc. Even from the women who had shared similar experiences to her own, or knew women who had shared these experiences, though some with not quite as fortunate an ending, all painted the woman as the eternal victim. The men however, had quite a different take, a take that is quite simply that there are things you can do to reduce the risk of these situations happening.
She found that she could strike up a conversation with these men and it was during one of these conversations, that this girl hit yet another turning point. He said to her "I hope you know if he had attacked you, it wouldn't have been your fault."
This stopped her dead in her tracks. In fact she had absolutely no idea how to respond to this one simple comment. It went against the very grain of what she was feeling and how these men were responding and viewing these situations. For all intensive purposes, this girl had more or less just accepted that had anything happened, she would have been at fault. This girl needed further clarifying and this would lead to yet another statement that would stay with this girl for years to come.
If you walk into a lion's den, facing down a bunch of hungry lions and holding a slab of raw meat, are you asking to be attacked? Unless you're openly suicidal then no, you're not, but you're also not using much common sense and you're effectively putting yourself into a situation where the chances of being attacked are increased by a huge percentage.
In this girl's scenario, she was the numpty who walked into the lion's den. Was she asking to be attacked? No, she wasn't. Would she have deserved being attacked? No, she wouldn't. Could she have done anything to minimise the risk of finding herself in this specific situation? Let's take a look at the facts.
1: Drunk.
2: Dressed like a slut.
3: Openly flirting with a complete stranger.
4: Alone.
Yes, she could. While women would never admit this, there are things you can do to minimise the risks to yourself. There is a difference between dressing alluringly and sexy and dressing like a slut. There are things that can be done to prevent these situations from arising. You don't have to walk into a den of hungry lions holding a slab of raw meat.
Even without taking these precautions, you can't completely rule out the possibility of ever finding yourself in this situation, but this girl had effectively increased her chances by a huge percentage by making herself an extremely easy target. It now struck this girl that in many instances, these women who frequented these boards, many who who had never been in this kind of specific situation themselves, weren't really listening to what these men were saying. In fact now having more of an understanding, this girl was able to see that in many instances, these men openly rebuked rape or sexual assault of any means. They were openly against it, and weren't of the opinion that it would be the victims fault. Their opinion was that the victim could have perhaps done things to minimise the risk of what happened. Their opinion was that women in general could minimise the risk by not making themselves an easy target or prey. In fact, these men were openly trying to help these women and were being slammed and branded "misogynist" for their efforts.
And yet, it was one of these men specifically who actually turned round to this girl and told her in no uncertain terms, had anything happened, it wouldn't have been her fault. The events leading up to what could have happened, however, there the girl could have used some common sense and even perhaps avoided ending up in this situation in the first place.
Now comes the next part of this story. A few years had passed and it was around this time that this girl discovered that two men in her life had been victims of sexual assault. One had had an encounter and had been fortunate to get away, the other had been sexually abused for an extended period of time.
Now this girl was starting to wonder how common these situations really were. Here we have one girl and this one girl had already faced three counts of sexual assault. One done to her, two done to men in her life. So that's three counts, in her one life.
Armed with this new information, she again took to the internet and found herself actually struggling to find accounts by men on suffering sexual assault and yet this girl was having a hard time believing they were really that uncommon when in her life, she had already been faced with two men who had had these experiences. So she expanded her search and what she found was completely horrifying.
She found many mentions of men, rather bitterly, separating myth from fact. The myth being that only a woman can be sexually assaulted or abused. The fact being that men are also assaulted and raped. Abused by both men and women. The accounts are low for the simple reason that even now, in this day and age, this isn't a point that really gets focused on. Men who suffer this kind of abuse, who are violated and raped are frequently forced to keep quiet about their experiences for a number of reasons.
1: Many women simply refuse to acknowledge this.
2: The courts and government have yet to really acknowledge this as just a common experience as women being assaulted.
3: The false rape claims.
Number 3 is the one that tears into me the most and sets my temper flaring. I'm not entirely sure what these women are hoping to prove by this, punishing men like this, but a rape claim made on a man can destroy that man's life. An innocent man can be condemned by this simple claim and these women take great joy in persecuting men like this. They are in effect "raping" these men's characters and lives and destroying them completely. They are no better, in fact they are worse, than the sexual predators, both male and female, that walk our streets.
I am extremely grateful that in my country, to make a false rape claim is a punishable offence. What I am not grateful for is that many of these women escape jail time by spinning simple yarns that the courts lap up. These women as far as I'm concerned should be locked away. Exposed for the hideous and vile creatures they are.
They not only destroy an innocent man's life, but they also make a mockery of the real victims. Both men and women who have suffered rape and effectively make it harder for the true victims to come forward out of fear that they won't be believed.
These women are ruining lives everywhere and as far as I'm concerned, they should serve life sentences for this. End of argument. I despise these women with a passion and always will.
Fortunately, I can say that there are many women who do share a hatred of these creatures, even if it's for no other reason than making it even harder for a female victim to come forward. It might not be the best reason to loathe these pitiful creatures, but it's a start and hopefully, in time, the courts will learn to come down harder on these women and expose them for what they are.
To get back to my main point. To find information on men who have suffered sexual assault, even via the internet, is difficult to do with all the boards and mentions of women who have suffered sexual assault. And yet, again, here was one girl who had two men in her life who had suffered these experiences. So how many others were out there? How many of us do have men in our lives who have been the victims? And I include the victim of false rape claims to that list because that is as damaging to these men as sexual assault can be.
These slutwalks are in effect, no better than all the points mentioned in this post. They are degrading to men and women. They are offensive and the women taking part should be ashamed of themselves for making a mockery of a very serious issue that effects both men and women on a far more regular basis than we would care to admit.
To reiterate. Yes, there are things we women can do to minimise the risks against us. We can use some damn common sense. No, we are not entirely blameless in finding ourselves in these situations. We don't have to walk around exposing ourself like raw meat to potential sexual predators. No, men who openly state this are not misogynists. They are not openly condoning the act of rape. They are advising caution and showing some sense. No, women should not be allowed to wear what they want, when they want and expect to never find themselves in a specific situation.
And more importantly of all, in this girl's case, just remember one thing. First of all, she was young, she was foolish. She was only 18, so don't judge her too harshly. Second of all, in spite of everything and her experience, it wasn't women who helped her through it or showed her what she needed to see, told her what she needed to hear and at the end of the day, supported her and helped her through a turning point in her life. It wasn't women, it was men. It was men who held her hand and guided her through that tunnel, who helped her see that yes, she was an idiot. Yes, she could have minimised the risk, but no, she wouldn't have been to blame if the act had actually happened. Interesting, no? I certainly think it is.
There is something to be said in that. The first one being that maybe you should listen to what's being said instead of taking to the streets and making a mockery of a very serious issue that affects both men and women alike and possibly, even men and women who are in your life may have had a brush or an experience with this issue.
In short. If you don't act like a slut, you won't get treated as one. And why, in god's name, would we actually want to take back the word slut? It's hardly very flattering. Maybe that has nothing to do with the actual post, but it needed to be said.
Wake up, open your eyes and look around you. This is not something you openly mock like this and you can minimise the risk. So do it. End of argument.
Sami
"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~
More recently one topic that has been very active is the topic of slutwalks. Different states and countries have been very active in their protests with women marching through the streets wearing "slut attire" and openly claiming they are "taking back the word slut" because they have "had enough".
This is a topic that strikes a very raw nerve with me. I'd also ask that you please bear with me. There's quite a few points in this post. It will be rather long and hard to follow at times and also rather detailed. I also apologise for the fact that this post is going to be rather emotional and uncomfortable to read.
The reason for the slutwalks is simple. One comment made by a Canadian police officer that women can stay safe by "avoiding dressing like sluts" has sparked a wave of fury among women all across the globe and they have taken to the streets in order to make themselves and their anger known. The views on this topic are very varied, with some outright slamming this police officer and others backing him. Some say he has a point but could have chosen his words better and others will also add their own voices and opinions to the crowd.
The topic is quite simply focusing on rape and sexual assault. Before I get into the various points and different aspects of this topic, I have a story to tell, but before I do, I think it would be important to note that the girl in question is something of a bleeding heart. She cannot see people in pain or angry and not try to help in some way, even if it is simply by adding her own voice to the crowd.
This girl's story really begins when she was 18. As most teenagers are, she was young and rather foolish. A bit of a wild child so to speak. She enjoyed the nightlife and going out clubbing with her friends. I should point out that she didn't sleep around though. She was a party girl, but sleeping around wasn't her thing.
Anyway, her story begins one friday night when she was 18. Dressed in a short skirt that barely covered her tush and a tube top, she met her friends as usual in town ready to hit some bars and nightclubs.
I should point out that over here in the UK, it is legal to drink from the age of 18.
Moving on. She had a pretty normal night by all accounts. She drank, danced, partied and flirted as usual. It was a typical fun night out. It was about 3 in the morning when the group decided to call it a night and go home, all by this point fairly intoxicated by alcohol.
Most of the group took a taxi together leaving two girls alone and no taxi in sight. The two girls briefly debated walking home together but decided against it due to the vast quantities of alcohol that had been consumed. So they waited for the next taxi to show up. When it did they both got in and the taxi took the girls to their first stop. The girl's friend got out, leaving this girl now alone in the taxi. It should also be noted that these rather drunk girls had been openly chatting and flirting with the taxi driver for most of the drive home.
After the girl's friend had left the taxi, the driver invited her to go sit next to him. She did. And continued chatting with him. It wasn't until she realised that the direction they were going wasn't taking her to her home, that she sobered up pretty quickly. She had found herself in a pretty tricky situation that only got trickier when he pulled up in a secluded area and tried to get on top of her.
Glossing over the details of what happened next, this girl's survival instincts kicked in and, putting it bluntly, by kneeing him in the nuts she was able to get away completely unharmed.
By all accounts, regardless of your personal take on things, this girl was extremely fortunate to have escaped unharmed.
Needless to say the whole experience left the girl feeling rather shaken. She didn't know quite what to do with her experience, feeling rather lost and confused. She suffered the standard emotions of asking herself what on earth she had done to deserve this. She didn't feel she could talk to anyone and became a little withdrawn, repeatedly cancelling nights out and refusing to take a taxi, even in broad daylight.
After a while and some research, she finally decided to go to a help group meeting for women who had suffered sexual assault and this would prove to be a turning point in this girl's life. Sitting there and listening to these accounts, the girl found herself feeling odder and odder about the entire situation. When it came to her to share her story, she found she couldn't. She couldn't open her mouth and actually repeat her story. The sheer sympathy from these women was not sitting right with her.
In short, after going to this meeting and listening to these women tell their stories, this young girl left this meeting feeling embarrassed and ashamed. At that specific point though, she wasn't entirely sure why she felt this way. So she did the next logical thing and took to the internet, trying to find more information and others who had been in her situation who could maybe help her with some of the things she was feeling.
She found them, but to her surprise, she found the ones who could shed light on what she was feeling were men, not women. All she heard from women was the same thing over and over, there is no excuse, no woman deserves this, men are evil, etc etc etc. Even from the women who had shared similar experiences to her own, or knew women who had shared these experiences, though some with not quite as fortunate an ending, all painted the woman as the eternal victim. The men however, had quite a different take, a take that is quite simply that there are things you can do to reduce the risk of these situations happening.
She found that she could strike up a conversation with these men and it was during one of these conversations, that this girl hit yet another turning point. He said to her "I hope you know if he had attacked you, it wouldn't have been your fault."
This stopped her dead in her tracks. In fact she had absolutely no idea how to respond to this one simple comment. It went against the very grain of what she was feeling and how these men were responding and viewing these situations. For all intensive purposes, this girl had more or less just accepted that had anything happened, she would have been at fault. This girl needed further clarifying and this would lead to yet another statement that would stay with this girl for years to come.
If you walk into a lion's den, facing down a bunch of hungry lions and holding a slab of raw meat, are you asking to be attacked? Unless you're openly suicidal then no, you're not, but you're also not using much common sense and you're effectively putting yourself into a situation where the chances of being attacked are increased by a huge percentage.
In this girl's scenario, she was the numpty who walked into the lion's den. Was she asking to be attacked? No, she wasn't. Would she have deserved being attacked? No, she wouldn't. Could she have done anything to minimise the risk of finding herself in this specific situation? Let's take a look at the facts.
1: Drunk.
2: Dressed like a slut.
3: Openly flirting with a complete stranger.
4: Alone.
Yes, she could. While women would never admit this, there are things you can do to minimise the risks to yourself. There is a difference between dressing alluringly and sexy and dressing like a slut. There are things that can be done to prevent these situations from arising. You don't have to walk into a den of hungry lions holding a slab of raw meat.
Even without taking these precautions, you can't completely rule out the possibility of ever finding yourself in this situation, but this girl had effectively increased her chances by a huge percentage by making herself an extremely easy target. It now struck this girl that in many instances, these women who frequented these boards, many who who had never been in this kind of specific situation themselves, weren't really listening to what these men were saying. In fact now having more of an understanding, this girl was able to see that in many instances, these men openly rebuked rape or sexual assault of any means. They were openly against it, and weren't of the opinion that it would be the victims fault. Their opinion was that the victim could have perhaps done things to minimise the risk of what happened. Their opinion was that women in general could minimise the risk by not making themselves an easy target or prey. In fact, these men were openly trying to help these women and were being slammed and branded "misogynist" for their efforts.
And yet, it was one of these men specifically who actually turned round to this girl and told her in no uncertain terms, had anything happened, it wouldn't have been her fault. The events leading up to what could have happened, however, there the girl could have used some common sense and even perhaps avoided ending up in this situation in the first place.
Now comes the next part of this story. A few years had passed and it was around this time that this girl discovered that two men in her life had been victims of sexual assault. One had had an encounter and had been fortunate to get away, the other had been sexually abused for an extended period of time.
Now this girl was starting to wonder how common these situations really were. Here we have one girl and this one girl had already faced three counts of sexual assault. One done to her, two done to men in her life. So that's three counts, in her one life.
Armed with this new information, she again took to the internet and found herself actually struggling to find accounts by men on suffering sexual assault and yet this girl was having a hard time believing they were really that uncommon when in her life, she had already been faced with two men who had had these experiences. So she expanded her search and what she found was completely horrifying.
She found many mentions of men, rather bitterly, separating myth from fact. The myth being that only a woman can be sexually assaulted or abused. The fact being that men are also assaulted and raped. Abused by both men and women. The accounts are low for the simple reason that even now, in this day and age, this isn't a point that really gets focused on. Men who suffer this kind of abuse, who are violated and raped are frequently forced to keep quiet about their experiences for a number of reasons.
1: Many women simply refuse to acknowledge this.
2: The courts and government have yet to really acknowledge this as just a common experience as women being assaulted.
3: The false rape claims.
Number 3 is the one that tears into me the most and sets my temper flaring. I'm not entirely sure what these women are hoping to prove by this, punishing men like this, but a rape claim made on a man can destroy that man's life. An innocent man can be condemned by this simple claim and these women take great joy in persecuting men like this. They are in effect "raping" these men's characters and lives and destroying them completely. They are no better, in fact they are worse, than the sexual predators, both male and female, that walk our streets.
I am extremely grateful that in my country, to make a false rape claim is a punishable offence. What I am not grateful for is that many of these women escape jail time by spinning simple yarns that the courts lap up. These women as far as I'm concerned should be locked away. Exposed for the hideous and vile creatures they are.
They not only destroy an innocent man's life, but they also make a mockery of the real victims. Both men and women who have suffered rape and effectively make it harder for the true victims to come forward out of fear that they won't be believed.
These women are ruining lives everywhere and as far as I'm concerned, they should serve life sentences for this. End of argument. I despise these women with a passion and always will.
Fortunately, I can say that there are many women who do share a hatred of these creatures, even if it's for no other reason than making it even harder for a female victim to come forward. It might not be the best reason to loathe these pitiful creatures, but it's a start and hopefully, in time, the courts will learn to come down harder on these women and expose them for what they are.
To get back to my main point. To find information on men who have suffered sexual assault, even via the internet, is difficult to do with all the boards and mentions of women who have suffered sexual assault. And yet, again, here was one girl who had two men in her life who had suffered these experiences. So how many others were out there? How many of us do have men in our lives who have been the victims? And I include the victim of false rape claims to that list because that is as damaging to these men as sexual assault can be.
These slutwalks are in effect, no better than all the points mentioned in this post. They are degrading to men and women. They are offensive and the women taking part should be ashamed of themselves for making a mockery of a very serious issue that effects both men and women on a far more regular basis than we would care to admit.
To reiterate. Yes, there are things we women can do to minimise the risks against us. We can use some damn common sense. No, we are not entirely blameless in finding ourselves in these situations. We don't have to walk around exposing ourself like raw meat to potential sexual predators. No, men who openly state this are not misogynists. They are not openly condoning the act of rape. They are advising caution and showing some sense. No, women should not be allowed to wear what they want, when they want and expect to never find themselves in a specific situation.
And more importantly of all, in this girl's case, just remember one thing. First of all, she was young, she was foolish. She was only 18, so don't judge her too harshly. Second of all, in spite of everything and her experience, it wasn't women who helped her through it or showed her what she needed to see, told her what she needed to hear and at the end of the day, supported her and helped her through a turning point in her life. It wasn't women, it was men. It was men who held her hand and guided her through that tunnel, who helped her see that yes, she was an idiot. Yes, she could have minimised the risk, but no, she wouldn't have been to blame if the act had actually happened. Interesting, no? I certainly think it is.
There is something to be said in that. The first one being that maybe you should listen to what's being said instead of taking to the streets and making a mockery of a very serious issue that affects both men and women alike and possibly, even men and women who are in your life may have had a brush or an experience with this issue.
In short. If you don't act like a slut, you won't get treated as one. And why, in god's name, would we actually want to take back the word slut? It's hardly very flattering. Maybe that has nothing to do with the actual post, but it needed to be said.
Wake up, open your eyes and look around you. This is not something you openly mock like this and you can minimise the risk. So do it. End of argument.
Sami
"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~
Saturday, 17 September 2011
The Single Mum
There are many reasons why a woman may find herself in the situation of raising her children alone. She may be tragically widowed, or divorced. She may have made a mistake many years ago when she was still young and foolish, recklessly not thinking about the consequences of her actions. Or...she may be that way by choice.
I always find myself torn when it comes to the topic of single mumhood. On the one hand, I know that sometimes it isn't a situation these women would willingly place themselves in and yet they take the challenge and follow through as best they can. On the other hand, there are those women who I like to call the baby boom brigade, who willingly pop out babies and put themselves into a situation where they raise their children alone.
I'd be lying if I said this didn't annoy me. It is generally an accepted fact that a child needs two parents. A mother and a father. Each parent brings something valuable to the child's life, something that they will carry through their lives and will shape the person they become in the future. Of course, there are those women who believe they can be both a mother and a father to their child and, with all due respect, unless you grow a penis, you can't be a father.
In today's society where feminism had led women to believe they are indestructible and capable of anything, it is a sadly common fact that more and more women are choosing to raise a child alone and for no other reason than that they want to and they know they can.
These women above all else never cease to amaze me with their selfishness and complete disregard to the tiny life they rob of the valuable bond that only a father can give.
I also find myself somehow torn when it comes to women who made a mistake. Mistakes can happen and none of us are free from our baggage, though some weighs more than others. But it is the mindset that follows that makes me sometimes wonder. It is true that in some of these situations, the father isn't blameless. He may have made the choice to leave the child's life. It can happen. But, my question in these situations is always why these women can't admit to their own mistakes? It seems they are all to ready to shift the entire blame onto the father's shoulders. It is these children who will grow up hearing on a regular basis that their father was the scum of the earth.
Personally, I always believe their are two sides to a story and with the father absent, it is all too easy for the mother to swoop in for the kill and defame his character, not caring that your child is standing their listening and being force fed these words of hatred. But, perhaps even more importantly, in denying or forfeiting any wrong you have done yourself, what are you teaching your child? That it's ok to go through life always blaming others for your mistakes? That it's ok to never stand up and take responsibility for your own actions?
It baffles me.
I find when I raise my opinions or objections, the disgruntled mother in question will instantly leap on the defensive and ask me what gives me the right to make any judgement.
It's simple. What gives me the right is simple. I am a single mother. I am also a single mother who made mistakes. I hold my hands up and admit them and take responsibility for my actions that have led to me being a single mother before I've even turned 30. I don't stand here loud and proud and boast endlessly about how I am raising my child without any help from anyone. I'm extremely fortunate to have a job that pays enough that I am able to support myself and my child. But I'm not delusional in any way. I can't give my son everything he needs. I'm just his mother. I can't give him that fatherly guidance and support. I can only give him mine.
For women who willingly enter into this situation, choosing to be a single mother, I can only say one thing. Your delusion that you are all your child needs is beyond arrogant. If you are denying the father the right to his child then you are willingly and selfishly robbing your child of that natural bond that he or she needs to become a well rounded adult. I'll add the disclaimer that unless there are extreme circumstances where the father is an actual threat to the child, or if he has disappeared without a trace, quite literally MIA, then you really have no right to keep your child from bonding with his father.
I can only say that no matter how much you believe you are everything your child needs, at the end of the day, you can only be his or her mother. You can only do the best you can and hope with everything in you, that at the end of the day, this will be enough.
It saddens me to say that out of all the feminists in this world, the baby boom brigade are by far some of the worst offenders and yet they are also the ones raising the next generation. It's horrifying to think about.
"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~
I always find myself torn when it comes to the topic of single mumhood. On the one hand, I know that sometimes it isn't a situation these women would willingly place themselves in and yet they take the challenge and follow through as best they can. On the other hand, there are those women who I like to call the baby boom brigade, who willingly pop out babies and put themselves into a situation where they raise their children alone.
I'd be lying if I said this didn't annoy me. It is generally an accepted fact that a child needs two parents. A mother and a father. Each parent brings something valuable to the child's life, something that they will carry through their lives and will shape the person they become in the future. Of course, there are those women who believe they can be both a mother and a father to their child and, with all due respect, unless you grow a penis, you can't be a father.
In today's society where feminism had led women to believe they are indestructible and capable of anything, it is a sadly common fact that more and more women are choosing to raise a child alone and for no other reason than that they want to and they know they can.
These women above all else never cease to amaze me with their selfishness and complete disregard to the tiny life they rob of the valuable bond that only a father can give.
I also find myself somehow torn when it comes to women who made a mistake. Mistakes can happen and none of us are free from our baggage, though some weighs more than others. But it is the mindset that follows that makes me sometimes wonder. It is true that in some of these situations, the father isn't blameless. He may have made the choice to leave the child's life. It can happen. But, my question in these situations is always why these women can't admit to their own mistakes? It seems they are all to ready to shift the entire blame onto the father's shoulders. It is these children who will grow up hearing on a regular basis that their father was the scum of the earth.
Personally, I always believe their are two sides to a story and with the father absent, it is all too easy for the mother to swoop in for the kill and defame his character, not caring that your child is standing their listening and being force fed these words of hatred. But, perhaps even more importantly, in denying or forfeiting any wrong you have done yourself, what are you teaching your child? That it's ok to go through life always blaming others for your mistakes? That it's ok to never stand up and take responsibility for your own actions?
It baffles me.
I find when I raise my opinions or objections, the disgruntled mother in question will instantly leap on the defensive and ask me what gives me the right to make any judgement.
It's simple. What gives me the right is simple. I am a single mother. I am also a single mother who made mistakes. I hold my hands up and admit them and take responsibility for my actions that have led to me being a single mother before I've even turned 30. I don't stand here loud and proud and boast endlessly about how I am raising my child without any help from anyone. I'm extremely fortunate to have a job that pays enough that I am able to support myself and my child. But I'm not delusional in any way. I can't give my son everything he needs. I'm just his mother. I can't give him that fatherly guidance and support. I can only give him mine.
For women who willingly enter into this situation, choosing to be a single mother, I can only say one thing. Your delusion that you are all your child needs is beyond arrogant. If you are denying the father the right to his child then you are willingly and selfishly robbing your child of that natural bond that he or she needs to become a well rounded adult. I'll add the disclaimer that unless there are extreme circumstances where the father is an actual threat to the child, or if he has disappeared without a trace, quite literally MIA, then you really have no right to keep your child from bonding with his father.
I can only say that no matter how much you believe you are everything your child needs, at the end of the day, you can only be his or her mother. You can only do the best you can and hope with everything in you, that at the end of the day, this will be enough.
It saddens me to say that out of all the feminists in this world, the baby boom brigade are by far some of the worst offenders and yet they are also the ones raising the next generation. It's horrifying to think about.
"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Wanted: Pillow To Scream Into
Wow, that's....quite a few hits since this morning. I never expected this. I'm truly touched. Thank you to all who've read and even commented. I feel like I should apologise to you all now, because it seems there may be the occasional vent in between more serious posts. But the tone will still be the same. Serious or in need of venting, it's all feminism. So I apologise up front for the interspersed venting posts.
With that said, I need the venting space for now.
There's a good reason why I avoid women. That again became apparent today. There's a woman I work with who is a self admitted man hater. She's a hard core feminist and frankly, she scares the ever living bejeesus out of me. She could easily squish me. I'm tiny compared to her.
I sometimes wonder if there's a bet going on between hard core feminists to see who can be the biggest and most boorish.
I do not get these people. I cannot, under any circumstances mesh with them. They just....*headdesk* There is something wrong with them, seriously. I can't understand how they can call themselves feminists and in the same breath, call themselves women. It's embarrassing to my gender.
Anyway, today was no different to any other day. She was just as loud as always, just as vocal. I have lost count of the number of times she has smugly announced she doesn't need a man in her life, or slammed her ex husband as a worthless lowlife. And this woman is raising 3 boys, alone, that's a scary thought.
She prides herself in not needing a man, not wanting a man. She openly says that women are superior in every way. Women do not need men for anything. Etc etc etc, yada yada yada, blah blah blah.
What's even more frustrating is her blatant rudeness and smug, superior attitude towards both the men I work with and the male customers. Today was no different and my boss does nothing to call her out on this because whether I like it or not, the cold hard truth is that she is good at the job. She genuinely is.
It's just....it's frustrating. I'm currently debating how to call her out on it this time.
Maybe I should see if I can make her turn that very interesting shade of puce I've seen her turn before. That could at least provide me with some amusement and an odd sense of gratification.
Ok, vent over.
"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~
With that said, I need the venting space for now.
There's a good reason why I avoid women. That again became apparent today. There's a woman I work with who is a self admitted man hater. She's a hard core feminist and frankly, she scares the ever living bejeesus out of me. She could easily squish me. I'm tiny compared to her.
I sometimes wonder if there's a bet going on between hard core feminists to see who can be the biggest and most boorish.
I do not get these people. I cannot, under any circumstances mesh with them. They just....*headdesk* There is something wrong with them, seriously. I can't understand how they can call themselves feminists and in the same breath, call themselves women. It's embarrassing to my gender.
Anyway, today was no different to any other day. She was just as loud as always, just as vocal. I have lost count of the number of times she has smugly announced she doesn't need a man in her life, or slammed her ex husband as a worthless lowlife. And this woman is raising 3 boys, alone, that's a scary thought.
She prides herself in not needing a man, not wanting a man. She openly says that women are superior in every way. Women do not need men for anything. Etc etc etc, yada yada yada, blah blah blah.
What's even more frustrating is her blatant rudeness and smug, superior attitude towards both the men I work with and the male customers. Today was no different and my boss does nothing to call her out on this because whether I like it or not, the cold hard truth is that she is good at the job. She genuinely is.
It's just....it's frustrating. I'm currently debating how to call her out on it this time.
Maybe I should see if I can make her turn that very interesting shade of puce I've seen her turn before. That could at least provide me with some amusement and an odd sense of gratification.
Ok, vent over.
"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~
Women And Their Cubs
They say the most important relationship a child has, the most crucial, is the relationship it has with its mother.
A mother's love can move mountains, it can lift up the child and cushion it forever under soft wings, protecting, nurturing, guiding gently through life, teaching to grow up to be strong, brave, loving and respectful. There is no creature more dangerous on this planet than a mother protecting her young. To protect the child, there are no lines a mother will not cross to do whatever it takes to keep the young safe from harm, to honour the vow you took when you looked down into those wide eyes that explored the world for the first time. That tiny face that looked up at you for the first time since emerging out of the dark and into the light. The vow to love, to honour, to protect, to guide and keep safe, to respect and teach.
I could go on, but let's stop there.
Well, wasn't that a crock of bullshit. If nothing else, I hope that opening paragraph provided you all with some lighthearted comedy and laughter.
While it's true that there are good mothers out there. Women who do fall into the above category, there are also many who fall into the complete opposite. As crucial as a mother's role in her child's life is, it can either be the one that is inspiring, or it can be one that is destructive.
Let's look at one of the cases where a mother's role is destructive. Let's talk about a man who has directly experienced and suffered the consequences of a destructive mother role.
Let me first point out that the man in question grew up in the late 40's, 50's and early 60's. This was a time when modern day feminism hadn't reached its peak, but, it was starting. Even then.
Anyway, to continue. This man never really knew his father. Saw him maybe a handful of times in his life. The father worked abroad, was unable to spend a great deal of time with his family and after a while, when this man was still very young, the father and mother finally decided to part ways, leaving this man in the sole care of his mother.
Do you know people who will tell you that all they heard from their mother was what a deadbeat their father was/is? What a user, lowlife and vile, evil person this man is/was?
Well, that became this man's life. Living with his mother was tentative at best and outright violent at worst. She, herself, was unable to emotionally bond with her son, in fact she told him on a regular basis that she didn't love him. She hated him. He was a burden. She even went so far as to tell this man that she hated him because he reminded her of his deadbeat, useless, pathetic excuse for a father, while beating him (quoted verbatim). That was her reason and nothing else. Maybe in her own way, she did love her son, maybe she never did. She's passed on now so that answer will remain a mystery.
There were many times when this would hurt him, the words spoken by his own mother. The beatings and emotional detachment. In fact there was one time when he finally turned round to her in a fit of absolute pain and fury and yelled out that he wasn't surprised his father left her, that she was an evil witch who didn't care about anyone but herself (sound familiar?).
But in spite of this, he did love her. She was his mother. He cared about her a great deal. Over the course of the years, he just came to accept it. It was what it was. He couldn't change it. All he could do was work hard and finally get accepted to university at age 17.
Unfortunately, his relationship with his mother never changed, despite no longer living under the same roof. But he moved on. He made a success of himself, became a highly respected and valued man at work and amongst those who met him. He has even been heard to say that his mother did at least teach him values. How to respect, how to survive. How to be a fighter and keep fighting no matter what. How to look out for yourself.
So the story doesn't have too unhappy of an ending. But I'm not done yet.
While that's the end of the story, let's examine the consequences of the actions and direct result of this man's relationship with his mother.
This man went on, met a good woman and got married. I'd say they lived happily ever after, but unfortunately this woman passed away from cancer before her time. Anyway, together they had one child.
Now I'd ask you to remember that in all areas of his life, this man was a success. He was a good boss, a good worker, a good friend and a good husband. He was and still is a good man.
There was just one area of his life that he wasn't ever able to be a success and that was being a father. He loves his daughter, in his own way. She's his daughter. She in turn loves him as her father, but that is where the relationship ends. He was never able to bond with his child on that emotional level. She was never daddy's little girl. Over the years, they have both come to learn to value each other and respect each other, but the main connection, that bond between a father and a daughter was never and never will be there. He couldn't commit to his child like that. He could teach her values, teach her strengths, teach her how to survive and teach her the truth about the world, but he couldn't give her the emotional bond. He found he could barely bring himself to hug her, let alone tell her he loved her. He raised her and taught her in a straight forward and detached way. That was the most he could do. It was more the relationship of a general to his army troops, than that of a father and daughter.
Now, it is true that in a fair few cases, the child of such a relationship can turn into the opposite. He/she can still grow up and be determined to be everything their parent wasn't to them. But that's not all cases and it wasn't this one. In a 50/50 split, the child will find itself in one of these areas. Either the first, or the one this man found himself in.
Now all I can ask is, is this really what we want for our children? For our sons and daughters? The future generation? Is this what we want for them? This belief that women are superior to men, that men are to be used and treated as second class citizens. This belief that it is only men who are capable of treatment like this? Is this really what we want for the next generation?
This wasn't a man who did this. This was a woman. A woman who so emotionally hurt her son that he was incapable of bonding and giving his own emotional attachment to his daughter. This wasn't a man's fault but the direct result of a woman, of a feminist who believed that men were useless, worthless low lives and in the case of this man, he never was. One good man's experience at the hands of a feminist, his own mother.
Feminism is destructive. And this is only one case where this becomes frighteningly obvious.
Sami
"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~
A mother's love can move mountains, it can lift up the child and cushion it forever under soft wings, protecting, nurturing, guiding gently through life, teaching to grow up to be strong, brave, loving and respectful. There is no creature more dangerous on this planet than a mother protecting her young. To protect the child, there are no lines a mother will not cross to do whatever it takes to keep the young safe from harm, to honour the vow you took when you looked down into those wide eyes that explored the world for the first time. That tiny face that looked up at you for the first time since emerging out of the dark and into the light. The vow to love, to honour, to protect, to guide and keep safe, to respect and teach.
I could go on, but let's stop there.
Well, wasn't that a crock of bullshit. If nothing else, I hope that opening paragraph provided you all with some lighthearted comedy and laughter.
While it's true that there are good mothers out there. Women who do fall into the above category, there are also many who fall into the complete opposite. As crucial as a mother's role in her child's life is, it can either be the one that is inspiring, or it can be one that is destructive.
Let's look at one of the cases where a mother's role is destructive. Let's talk about a man who has directly experienced and suffered the consequences of a destructive mother role.
Let me first point out that the man in question grew up in the late 40's, 50's and early 60's. This was a time when modern day feminism hadn't reached its peak, but, it was starting. Even then.
Anyway, to continue. This man never really knew his father. Saw him maybe a handful of times in his life. The father worked abroad, was unable to spend a great deal of time with his family and after a while, when this man was still very young, the father and mother finally decided to part ways, leaving this man in the sole care of his mother.
Do you know people who will tell you that all they heard from their mother was what a deadbeat their father was/is? What a user, lowlife and vile, evil person this man is/was?
Well, that became this man's life. Living with his mother was tentative at best and outright violent at worst. She, herself, was unable to emotionally bond with her son, in fact she told him on a regular basis that she didn't love him. She hated him. He was a burden. She even went so far as to tell this man that she hated him because he reminded her of his deadbeat, useless, pathetic excuse for a father, while beating him (quoted verbatim). That was her reason and nothing else. Maybe in her own way, she did love her son, maybe she never did. She's passed on now so that answer will remain a mystery.
There were many times when this would hurt him, the words spoken by his own mother. The beatings and emotional detachment. In fact there was one time when he finally turned round to her in a fit of absolute pain and fury and yelled out that he wasn't surprised his father left her, that she was an evil witch who didn't care about anyone but herself (sound familiar?).
But in spite of this, he did love her. She was his mother. He cared about her a great deal. Over the course of the years, he just came to accept it. It was what it was. He couldn't change it. All he could do was work hard and finally get accepted to university at age 17.
Unfortunately, his relationship with his mother never changed, despite no longer living under the same roof. But he moved on. He made a success of himself, became a highly respected and valued man at work and amongst those who met him. He has even been heard to say that his mother did at least teach him values. How to respect, how to survive. How to be a fighter and keep fighting no matter what. How to look out for yourself.
So the story doesn't have too unhappy of an ending. But I'm not done yet.
While that's the end of the story, let's examine the consequences of the actions and direct result of this man's relationship with his mother.
This man went on, met a good woman and got married. I'd say they lived happily ever after, but unfortunately this woman passed away from cancer before her time. Anyway, together they had one child.
Now I'd ask you to remember that in all areas of his life, this man was a success. He was a good boss, a good worker, a good friend and a good husband. He was and still is a good man.
There was just one area of his life that he wasn't ever able to be a success and that was being a father. He loves his daughter, in his own way. She's his daughter. She in turn loves him as her father, but that is where the relationship ends. He was never able to bond with his child on that emotional level. She was never daddy's little girl. Over the years, they have both come to learn to value each other and respect each other, but the main connection, that bond between a father and a daughter was never and never will be there. He couldn't commit to his child like that. He could teach her values, teach her strengths, teach her how to survive and teach her the truth about the world, but he couldn't give her the emotional bond. He found he could barely bring himself to hug her, let alone tell her he loved her. He raised her and taught her in a straight forward and detached way. That was the most he could do. It was more the relationship of a general to his army troops, than that of a father and daughter.
Now, it is true that in a fair few cases, the child of such a relationship can turn into the opposite. He/she can still grow up and be determined to be everything their parent wasn't to them. But that's not all cases and it wasn't this one. In a 50/50 split, the child will find itself in one of these areas. Either the first, or the one this man found himself in.
Now all I can ask is, is this really what we want for our children? For our sons and daughters? The future generation? Is this what we want for them? This belief that women are superior to men, that men are to be used and treated as second class citizens. This belief that it is only men who are capable of treatment like this? Is this really what we want for the next generation?
This wasn't a man who did this. This was a woman. A woman who so emotionally hurt her son that he was incapable of bonding and giving his own emotional attachment to his daughter. This wasn't a man's fault but the direct result of a woman, of a feminist who believed that men were useless, worthless low lives and in the case of this man, he never was. One good man's experience at the hands of a feminist, his own mother.
Feminism is destructive. And this is only one case where this becomes frighteningly obvious.
Sami
"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~
Introduction
I'm Samantha, more commonly known as Sam or Sami. I work in real estate by day and by night, I write. Some might call me a hobby writer, I tend to feel that to be a hobby writer, you need certain skills. I profess to have no such skills. My writing rarely makes sense to anyone but me, but this is because I write the first thing down that comes into my head. I don't stop to think, I just put my hands on my keyboard and type my heart into my writing.
There's a certain level of safety in writing on a blog. Many who may pass by will likely never know me or pass through my life. As a result, the freedom is there to write about anything you choose. Anything that touches your heart and compels you to write.
This happens to me on a fairly regular basis. Most of my writings get tucked away in a file marked personal and are never seen by anyone but myself.
So what happens when I come across a topic that brings me out of the shadows and onto this blog? Simple, the result is this very blog.
Over the course of it, I will be exploring the cause and effects of feminism in today's society. How it has affected men and women all across the globe and how we would benefit from bringing it down to its knees.
I repeat, my writings rarely make sense to anyone but me. If you happen to stumble across this blog, I can only tell you that much of what you read will be my own musings and opinions. My own thoughts and heart. Indeed, the window to my soul. You will learn about instances in my life that I have never shared with anyone. You will learn the truth that may be hard to face, but it is truth none the less. My words may hurt, my words may cause offence, but I will never shy away from opening my mouth and telling the truth.
In silence we can close our eyes and pretend the world around us isn't failing. Silence needs to be broken. Eyes need to be opened. The truth needs to be heard.
Don't believe me when I say that feminism is damaging? Don't believe me when I say that women are not the poor little victims and innocent little creatures they make themselves out to be? When you tell me there are men in this world who are bad to the bone, will you believe me when I tell you there are as many women, if not more so, who are worse?
In many cases, women can be compared to hurricanes, tornadoes and a variety of other natural disasters. It doesn't matter how they show up or where, but you can guarantee, wherever they have been, whenever they leave, they leave a trail of destruction in their path.
Still don't believe me? Well, that's what this blog is for and if I can change just one woman's views on feminism, if I can stop even just one woman from heading down that path, then bearing my soul and starting this blog will have been worth it.
Have a good one
Sami
There's a certain level of safety in writing on a blog. Many who may pass by will likely never know me or pass through my life. As a result, the freedom is there to write about anything you choose. Anything that touches your heart and compels you to write.
This happens to me on a fairly regular basis. Most of my writings get tucked away in a file marked personal and are never seen by anyone but myself.
So what happens when I come across a topic that brings me out of the shadows and onto this blog? Simple, the result is this very blog.
Over the course of it, I will be exploring the cause and effects of feminism in today's society. How it has affected men and women all across the globe and how we would benefit from bringing it down to its knees.
I repeat, my writings rarely make sense to anyone but me. If you happen to stumble across this blog, I can only tell you that much of what you read will be my own musings and opinions. My own thoughts and heart. Indeed, the window to my soul. You will learn about instances in my life that I have never shared with anyone. You will learn the truth that may be hard to face, but it is truth none the less. My words may hurt, my words may cause offence, but I will never shy away from opening my mouth and telling the truth.
In silence we can close our eyes and pretend the world around us isn't failing. Silence needs to be broken. Eyes need to be opened. The truth needs to be heard.
Don't believe me when I say that feminism is damaging? Don't believe me when I say that women are not the poor little victims and innocent little creatures they make themselves out to be? When you tell me there are men in this world who are bad to the bone, will you believe me when I tell you there are as many women, if not more so, who are worse?
In many cases, women can be compared to hurricanes, tornadoes and a variety of other natural disasters. It doesn't matter how they show up or where, but you can guarantee, wherever they have been, whenever they leave, they leave a trail of destruction in their path.
Still don't believe me? Well, that's what this blog is for and if I can change just one woman's views on feminism, if I can stop even just one woman from heading down that path, then bearing my soul and starting this blog will have been worth it.
Have a good one
Sami
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