Women And Their Cubs

They say the most important relationship a child has, the most crucial, is the relationship it has with its mother.

A mother's love can move mountains, it can lift up the child and cushion it forever under soft wings, protecting, nurturing, guiding gently through life, teaching to grow up to be strong, brave, loving and respectful. There is no creature more dangerous on this planet than a mother protecting her young. To protect the child, there are no lines a mother will not cross to do whatever it takes to keep the young safe from harm, to honour the vow you took when you looked down into those wide eyes that explored the world for the first time. That tiny face that looked up at you for the first time since emerging out of the dark and into the light. The vow to love, to honour, to protect, to guide and keep safe, to respect and teach.

I could go on, but let's stop there.

Well, wasn't that a crock of bullshit. If nothing else, I hope that opening paragraph provided you all with some lighthearted comedy and laughter.

While it's true that there are good mothers out there. Women who do fall into the above category, there are also many who fall into the complete opposite. As crucial as a mother's role in her child's life is, it can either be the one that is inspiring, or it can be one that is destructive.

Let's look at one of the cases where a mother's role is destructive. Let's talk about a man who has directly experienced and suffered the consequences of a destructive mother role.

Let me first point out that the man in question grew up in the late 40's, 50's and early 60's. This was a time when modern day feminism hadn't reached its peak, but, it was starting. Even then.

Anyway, to continue. This man never really knew his father. Saw him maybe a handful of times in his life. The father worked abroad, was unable to spend a great deal of time with his family and after a while, when this man was still very young, the father and mother finally decided to part ways, leaving this man in the sole care of his mother.

Do you know people who will tell you that all they heard from their mother was what a deadbeat their father was/is? What a user, lowlife and vile, evil person this man is/was?

Well, that became this man's life. Living with his mother was tentative at best and outright violent at worst. She, herself, was unable to emotionally bond with her son, in fact she told him on a regular basis that she didn't love him. She hated him. He was a burden. She even went so far as to tell this man that she hated him because he reminded her of his deadbeat, useless, pathetic excuse for a father, while beating him (quoted verbatim). That was her reason and nothing else. Maybe in her own way, she did love her son, maybe she never did. She's passed on now so that answer will remain a mystery.

There were many times when this would hurt him, the words spoken by his own mother. The beatings and emotional detachment. In fact there was one time when he finally turned round to her in a fit of absolute pain and fury and yelled out that he wasn't surprised his father left her, that she was an evil witch who didn't care about anyone but herself (sound familiar?).

But in spite of this, he did love her. She was his mother. He cared about her a great deal. Over the course of the years, he just came to accept it. It was what it was. He couldn't change it. All he could do was work hard and finally get accepted to university at age 17.

Unfortunately, his relationship with his mother never changed, despite no longer living under the same roof. But he moved on. He made a success of himself, became a highly respected and valued man at work and amongst those who met him. He has even been heard to say that his mother did at least teach him values. How to respect, how to survive. How to be a fighter and keep fighting no matter what. How to look out for yourself.

So the story doesn't have too unhappy of an ending. But I'm not done yet.

While that's the end of the story, let's examine the consequences of the actions and direct result of this man's relationship with his mother.

This man went on, met a good woman and got married. I'd say they lived happily ever after, but unfortunately this woman passed away from cancer before her time. Anyway, together they had one child.

Now I'd ask you to remember that in all areas of his life, this man was a success. He was a good boss, a good worker, a good friend and a good husband. He was and still is a good man.

There was just one area of his life that he wasn't ever able to be a success and that was being a father. He loves his daughter, in his own way. She's his daughter. She in turn loves him as her father, but that is where the relationship ends. He was never able to bond with his child on that emotional level. She was never daddy's little girl. Over the years, they have both come to learn to value each other and respect each other, but the main connection, that bond between a father and a daughter was never and never will be there. He couldn't commit to his child like that. He could teach her values, teach her strengths, teach her how to survive and teach her the truth about the world, but he couldn't give her the emotional bond. He found he could barely bring himself to hug her, let alone tell her he loved her. He raised her and taught her in a straight forward and detached way. That was the most he could do. It was more the relationship of a general to his army troops, than that of a father and daughter.

Now, it is true that in a fair few cases, the child of such a relationship can turn into the opposite. He/she can still grow up and be determined to be everything their parent wasn't to them. But that's not all cases and it wasn't this one. In a 50/50 split, the child will find itself in one of these areas. Either the first, or the one this man found himself in.

Now all I can ask is, is this really what we want for our children? For our sons and daughters? The future generation? Is this what we want for them? This belief that women are superior to men, that men are to be used and treated as second class citizens. This belief that it is only men who are capable of treatment like this? Is this really what we want for the next generation?

This wasn't a man who did this. This was a woman. A woman who so emotionally hurt her son that he was incapable of bonding and giving his own emotional attachment to his daughter. This wasn't a man's fault but the direct result of a woman, of a feminist who believed that men were useless, worthless low lives and in the case of this man, he never was. One good man's experience at the hands of a feminist, his own mother.

Feminism is destructive. And this is only one case where this becomes frighteningly obvious.

Sami

"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath." ~William Collins~